Back on the writing saddle, galloping on the prancing words making their way through my narrow brain! Boy, It feels good to be back! It has been quite some time since my last blog post and a lot has happened since then, leaving its impression over me in a way…may be good or bad! But it sure has altered(not changed 🙂 ) me a bit. But then one should have Faith in ourselves and people around us. They are always there to help. Always prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Enough psenti talks!
This entire month it was either mid semester examination(yes, not immune to those 😀 ) or the post-exam havoc or its after effects, but now that things have calmed a bit, its time to move on. In past 1 week, I have found a very intriguing question: “How long one should repent over his mistakes? Is there any fixed time frame? An optimum no. of days for which one should repent? Does it depend upon individual itself or his/her surroundings govern it? Is there a compulsion at all? Should one forgive oneself and move on…..or live with the mistake as much as he can so as not to repeat it? How should one overcome the feeling of depression and hopelessness and recover from the scars?” All thought provoking yet very defining in nature. Defining one’s character, thought process, his reaction to situations, his strengths and weaknesses.
While contemplating over it, I found that answer to it is not universal but individual. It works differently for different people and I would love to hear your thoughts but that is up to you if you like to share. 🙂 After much processing, introspecting, reading through online posts about how great people took their failure, here is my answers to these questions(PS: my opinions can strictly differ from your opinion and I respect your point of view too 🙂 and hope you have the same for mine) :
“How long one should repent over his mistakes?” I found that there are different stages to process a mistake, how so ever trivial or colossal it is. First there is denial, that it should not have happened! You feel disgraced and vulnerable that how it happened even though you had no intention of committing it, and the mistake was so unique and trivial that you had not even considered a mending plan initially. Then there is acceptance, that mistake happened, nothing can be done to revert it, it is already out in the open, people know about it and you could not have foreseen it. Following which is amendment plans, thinking about ways or methods or resources you can deploy to make amendments, reduce the damage done, cure people who are hurt by it. Following which is storage, the phase where we understand the need to bottle this experience, keep in the memory shelf of important collectibles and move on cautiously trying not to repeat it again. So how much time it all takes, differs from individual to individual that how much time they spend on each phase. Some get stuck on a phase and some enter into a loop going over it again and again!
“Does it depend upon individual itself or his/her surrounding govern it?” Well, like most of the psychic analysis of human behavior, there is no real conclusion to it. But one thing i found very compelling is: “It largely depends upon the dominating factor“. If the individual’s own personality and character has more dominating effect on him than his surrounding, then it is natural that time taken to recover will be largely influenced by it or the other way around. A simple example to explain the effect: Let us say a person has hit an other person very frankly. (Now, you must be thinking how this can be an example of processing a grave mistake. Please bear with me 🙂 ). Now the surrounding(people and relatives) is of such a behavior that every day it reminds the person of what he has done to other person and have magnified the effect of his actions thus not letting him move on with his life and for a very trivial action he has done, surrounding is prolonging the “moving on phase”, keeping him stuck in an infinite loop. How it will effect is a whole different story! Now if the person is of strong character and has high EQ(Emotional Quotient) then he could have easily avoided being drowned into the whirlpool.
“Is there a compulsion at all?” I strongly believe that a person should ponder over his deeds both good and bad, and try to analyse and absorb the good things and discard the bad ones. Different people have different life philosophy. Some may believe in “keep moving forward”, irrespective of trail one is leaving, other like to leave a legacy for young generation. Different things work for different people. The important question:“Should one forgive oneself and move on…..or live with the mistake as much as he can so as not to repeat it?” Again there are personal preferences here and both are known to work for different people, again largely depending upon personal factors like character and personality. I believe in the prior method of “forgive and move on“! There is no point in sticking and contemplating over the same thing again and again, and rather one should forgive oneself, ensure that mistake don’t happen again, thus move on to new adventures, there are plenty! There is no point in punishing yourself over and over again! Everyone deserves a second chance.
“How should one overcome the feeling of depression and hopelessness and recover from the scars?” Again individual opinions may differ but i believe in forgiving ourselves for the mistakes we had done, move forward on the path taken and make sure that you don’t take the same wrong turn again! And even if you do (by the Nature’s Force), you have a contingency plan for it! (This completes 1000 words!) And frankly speaking, that is all there is. Accept the consequences, make amendments, apologize, develop a back up plan and move on! 🙂
Rest is all up to you. I hope you get benefit from my experiences and wish you a very bright future ahead!
Auf Wiedersehen! (See You Again in German Language)